Long Pause? Sorry, I've been stuck.

Have you ever experienced or been around someone who was paralyzed? I have a nephew who was born with spina bifida. He is paralyzed from the waist down. I don't know if he will ever walk. The doctors say he won't, but who knows what God may do in his life in the future. His paralysis is a result of a spinal injury and, aside from an act of God, he has no real hope that his paralysis will go away.

I had a friend in high school who had Bell's palsy our senior year. She was out of school for a few days because the illness caused paralysis in her face. When I looked it up I found that this paralysis is a result of a virus that causes inflammation of nerves in the face. It peaks after a day or two and the person usually recovers completely after a few weeks, although the effects may be felt for 3-6 months.

When I was in nursing school I worked in the Pediatric ICU. One of my first patients there was a little girl, maybe 18 months old, who was experiencing respiratory failure. I can't remember why her respiratory system was shutting down, but I do remember that she was temporarily paralyzed with medication so that she could be put on a ventilator while her body healed. Once her body had healed enough, she was weaned off the ventilator and was no longer sedated. The last time I saw her she was playing happily in her hospital room, waiting for dismissal, with no apparent effects from her illness and no sign of paralysis at all.

The past few days I have been thinking about different kinds of paralysis because I believe that I have been experiencing a spiritual and emotional paralysis of sorts. It is not a paralysis that is permanently disabling, as in the case of my little nephew; nor do I believe it is a paralysis caused by an illness, as with my high school friend. I believe the paralysis I have been experiencing is one similar to the little girl in the PICU that has been induced to allow healing in my spirit and emotions. In the past few months we have encountered family crisis of one sibling's divorce, another sibling's spiritual journey away from belief in Christ, and financial difficulties. At each encounter, and as each came, I have felt myself being slowed and eventually stopped in my tracks. Prayer has been difficult, not because I didn't want to or didn't believe Christ would hear or could intervene, but really just because I haven't known what to pray. I have been at a loss for words, and my communion with my Lord has been rest, quietness and dependence on His love for my family and knowledge of my heart. I believe there are times in our spiritual journey that words cannot express our heart, but Jesus knows us. When we are paralyzed, He knows our needs and uses the induced rest to heal us. At least I believe that is what He is doing for me. He has been my 'ventilator', breathing for me when I couldn't breathe. Sustaining my life while the Father has been healing my heart and making me strong again.

So, hopefully, I am coming out of this paralysis and I don't expect any negative effects to remain. I am looking forward to what our powerful Father can do, not only in my life, but in my family's life. He knows me best. He has sustained me. He has been healing me and building my faith in His plans. My life is different because of these experiences. My heart has been changed and challenged. Now I am looking forward to gaining new strength and joy.

James 1:2-4
2Dear brothers and sisters,[b] whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. 3For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.