But he will not be the only one sharing about what has happened this week. I have over a week's worth of stories to tell as well. Our church family has been so wonderful while he was gone, taking the kids when I needed a break, watching them while I was at work, mowing the yard and helping out with a little extra yard work. We are truly blessed with some incredible friends! Of course, there are stories about the kids, too. We did school this week with Tanner and Caelan. They have been so eager to work on anything I could get together for them. (School this year will officially start in a week or so. Tanner will be joined by three cousins of the same age for school together. It will be kindergarten. I will trade off teaching with my sister and sister-in-law. I will continue to do preschool work with Caelan.) We rearranged some of the furniture this week. Hopefully Tony will like it!
However, just as I am looking most forward to listening to Tony's heart about his experiences and not just the details of his days, I am also looking forward to sharing with him my heart and the experiences that have shaped it this week. I will not be sharing all of those treasures here in this post. I do not know how much of it I will share here at all, but I do want to begin to write again. My mother-in-law asked me recently when I would be adding a post here, but quickly added that she understood why I had not posted. It has not been an easy year for me and my family. I have been dealing with some deep wounds and needing to heal. If you have read my previous posts, then you have had a glimpse of my journey, but that is all. I am not ready to openly share details, nor do I believe this is the appropriate place for the discussion, as many family members are involved, but I do want to share some of what is happening in my life, as it is my testimony to God's grace extended to me and my family in the midst of tradgedy.
The lyrics below are to a song by Casting Crowns called 'Praise You In This Storm.' My personal storm is by no means over, but I sense a breaking in the clouds. I have found a peace in the midst of raging winds and driving rains. There are still tears, but there is also hope that my torn heart, though changed, will heal.
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard me cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Tony's journey back home is a long one. He has been far away. I'll be so glad to have him back. My journey has been long as well, eight months or more of storms. But I am coming back to wholeness, and though it has been hard, I'm glad to be here.
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